Tuesday October 9th

Two lessons today. Scams are real and most things that I wish I could share with you aren't blog appropriate. I haven't laughed as hard as I did today, ever in my life.

This is now the second time I'm going to be writing out what happened today, because the first time I wrote it out I hit the wrong button and it all got deleted. It's sort of like what happened to the infamous Sunday the 30th's entry. The only reason I'm attempting it for the 3rd time now, is because the second time I tried explaining that it got deleted and that I would rewrite it tomorrow, I deleted that entry as well. This one won't be nearly as good as the first.

I got up early this morning. I striped the sheets and headed down stairs. Eileen warned me that Bowe's stomach was making an awful gurgle noise and she left the door open for him to go potty. Bowe is a 150lb white lab. I walked downstairs and dropped the sheets off in the laundry room and went to say good morning to all the animals. I looked up at Bowe and as he gazed at me with those big brown eyes his stomach let out a giant GGGGGGUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLGGGGGGGRRRR. At that point I took it upon myself to take him outside to relief him of his noise.

I went back upstairs, got showered and hit the road Jack. Left 17 minutes late, got there 3 minutes late, checked in on the left, sat on the left and waited. I soon was called back to have a test called a Urodynamic study. Google it. It would not be blog appropriate to share, but what you do need to know are 2 words. Cracktoyes and 99 red balloons. That's 4 words but no one actually counted. I will have you know that Az momma sent me on my way with lots of encouragement, a lovely 99 red balloons jingle to hum and lots of laughs. Ask if you want to know more.

Today was Jim's birthday, naturally that lead Eileen and I to be on the hunt for a birthday kitty. Now you see, I explained this story in great detail in the last entry and all that's going through my mind as I'm wanting to retell it, is that I should have just copied and saved that last one and I wouldn't still be up making myself do this. Ah. Okay, SO, LOOOONNNGGG story short, we got scammed by java the hut, who was pretending to be Jennifer Wells and tried to sell us a 500 dollar pure bred maine coon. The price shouldn't be the shocking factor here. What's ridiculous was that the post had been put up in Phoenix and we were then talked into a safe pet currier to ship the kitten to us in 4-5 hours. How stupid do they think we are? Wasn't happening. There are a lot of funny parts to this story that I wish I had the energy to retype. I really should have just hit the save button. I'm gonna do that now. Done. I think I might come back to this and add some detail later. The end result is that the real kitten owner's FB was hacked and after hearing that the cat was in PHX then it was in CA, it really was just in Surprise, yes I said Surprise, Az. So we drive 30 minutes picked up the CUTEST KITTEN EVER, rushed home with 3 minutes to spare and in the knick of time was able to present the still nameless kitty to Jim for his b day.

Before and while dealing with all of that. I had an appointment with Dr. A. Remember him? He was the one who asked lots of sex questions. See, now I rang a bell for you. He went over my blood results. Another moment I was wishing I had just hit save. He went over my lab results and told me that after my test of suppressing my cortisol levels, they didn't suppress. He was looking for numbers like 2 or 3 (normal being 7-25) and mine with the suppressing medicine was 27.6, way above normal even. He told me I could potentially have Cushing's Syndrome. Meaning their might be a tumor on my adrenal glands or pituitary glands. OH boy. He ordered an official test of taking the same medicine for 48 hours. This will help make the diagnosis. I went back to the waiting room continued to deal with the kitty drama, laughed, snorted and cried and went about my afternoon.

I wish I would have hit save. That reminds me, I'm going to hit it now. I can't believe this. I hit publish and now I lost that option. I better not mess this up. I think even though I'm bummed I lost my first entry, I'm mostly sad that I can't duplicate the humor and detail I put into it. More importantly though, I don't mind rewriting how I felt about today and really what I meant to me, because that is far greater than hearing about 6 catheters at one time in stead of the 3 I bargained for.

I laughed so hard today. I mean I laughed. Eileen and I laughed so hard I snorted. I cried. I was laughing so hard. I can only ever remember laughing this hard very few times in my life. It's amazing to me how I can get crappy news and have humiliating, painful, and blog inappropriate tests and still manage to have the best day. It's been so great to be in the company I am in. Eileen acknowledging the seriousness of what's going on and is constantly commending me on how strong I am, but she makes light and humor out of reality. It's refreshing. I love that I'm singing about 99 red balloons and fake peeing over cracktoydes. I love that I'm seeing that even though this is sucky, I can laugh at the same time. I think that I always knew that was possible, but it's not just about being distracted from what is in front of me. It's more of processing it because we are always making jokes over it. Don't get me wrong, there are moments where my heart is heavy and I'm feelings down, but I love the feeling of laughter over sorrow. I couldn't imagine if I didn't' have Az momma's influence, I think I would be going crazy. Literally.

I just know that I haven't had this good of a day in months. I'll take cracktoyes and 99 red balloons any day if it means I get to snort.


                                         The nameless maine coon scammed birthday kitten.

                                                                             Bowe

Are you reading?

If people are reading this please let me know... post something.. only because I don't want to be doing this for nothing. No offense... I like having an outlet, but let's be real there is a reason my last post hasn't been since March...

I have also reread some things and realized that there is a TON of typos. I'm so very sorry for that. I am slowly going back and fixing them.

KTHANKS!

THE ACCIDENTALLY DELETED SUNDAY SEPT. 30th

Sunday was a quick and dirty kind of day. Woke up early, fell back asleep. Got my act together around 11. Made me a nice mimosa and out to the pool I went. The dog lady wasn't home when I went out, but around 1pm when I had walked inside to get some water, she had reappeared. She said that the car she was borrowing had broken down or something of that nature, and she had returned non the less. I went back out to bake in the sun................an hour and a half later I woke up. Ouch. Now I'm not sure if at this point it was the sun and a mixture of everything else, but I was sick. 

I wrote this post and it got deleted and I'm not going to rewrite it--- but Sunday was a bad day and I'm mad because it got deleted and because of this day lol...

Just ask me what happened.

Monday October 8th

YAY- I'm finally all caught up.

This morning I did NOT want to get up, but I did. Boo. Went to the Mayo and had my autonomic nervous system testing done.  I had patches put on the left side of my body and monitors on my chest. They injected a synthetic acytecholine under the patches to see if I was going to sweat. I then did a shorter version of the tilt table test (oh BOY, we all know how much fun that was) they then had me do some breathing test based off a light, and then blow into this mouth piece. That's all and I was out of there. I went to the caf and called Maggie to chat. I'm excited, she's coming Wednesday and staying until Friday. We are gonna tear it up- not. When she comes in I only have one test.. It's Az daddy's b day thing in the evening. We might shop while she is here, I'm EXCITED! Friday is a busy testing day holy my moly.

They cancelled my CT scan today. I've been on the phone with the doctor many times today. I got my results from my blood test.. they came back positive for Cushing's Syndrome. They are to do further testing to confirm. That means I can't get a picc or port for a while. They finally figured out and rescheduled my MRI for my brain.. I'm hoping things will smooth themselves out.

This morning a lot of things were running through my head. My relationship, my family and how they are dealing with all of this, how much I miss my friends, and how for the first time in my life I'm doing me. I am not half assing it, I can't. I am away from everything, my life is completely on hold in Colorado and I am focused on fixing me. It's kind of crazy. My life is in shambles I feel like. This is causing tension on so many areas of my life not to mention that I really don't have a house to go home to. Sure I can stay with my family, but let's be real------ if you know anything about me, that's not the most desirable or first option that I'd find a great thing to be going home to. Doesn't matter, either way, it's a roof over my head and I'll be cared for.

Okay pause- they doctor and hospital has called now 5 times. They keep moving things around. THIS- THAT- THIS- THAT- THIS-THAT- ... FIGURE IT OUT. Okay I'm going to go get a Picc line, Oh wait not I'm not. OH MY WORD!

Anyways, people keep telling me not to stress about moving, but I am going to have to grow up when I get back. I don't even know what to expect. What kind of condition am I going to be in? When is surgery? Are they going to fix everything? I want to go to grad school, I want to move on with my life. OH MY WORD I'm going insane. Oh my. Not really..I'm bring dramatic.

I want a cool group of friends. The kind that hang out all the time. Maybe I'm wanting a better community. Or I am wanting change. I'm not sure. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon. In the mean time I want to go on a beach vacation and have a banging body. I want to be happy. I mean I am happy, this is coming out ALL wrong. I think I just got a wave of insecurity and am afraid I won't be fulfilled even if I go after what it is I do want. I think this is sounding more depressing than it needs to. Eff. My point is, I just am missing the normalcy of my life and am forcing to deal with the reality and seriousness of my health. Today it hit me, I'm sick and it's going to get worse before it get's better.

It's 3:21pm right now and I have lots more day left. If anything exciting happens I'll write again..I don't believe me when I type that... haha. YOU NEVER KNOW.

Thank you Az momma, momma bear, family, friends and everyone else.


........I'm needing some serious retail therapy. It's a good thing I feel bad about driving their car, otherwise I'd have those Frye boots in my procession- like last week. I NEED TO SPEND MONEY--- WAHHHH!




                                                    My Frye Boots. I'll have them by Friday.

Saturday October 6th and Sunday October 7th

Saturday:

 I got up early, went for a run, took a bath, watched some football, and took a nap on the couch. Woke up watched the Nebraska game, drank a few beers, Az momma combed the glue out of my hair and then went to bed.

Sunday:

 I woke up, went out by the pool and that's where I stayed for the next 6 hours. I would jump in and get out, cool off, and read about anesthesia. That's all.

At about 4:30 I came inside red as a tomato, took a shower put some aloe on and came downstairs to be social. I had a drink, we sat down for dinner, watched the end of sunday night football and that was it. I went upstairs to bed. OH--- I failed to mention that thursday night I got kicked out of my house.. Not really kicked out, but our one lovely roommate ended our lease early and I am to be out in 30 days. WTF!

It's a good thing I have great friends and family to move all my crap into a storage unit for the time being. Guess what this means...I am moving yet again. I loathe moving.

Thursday October 4th and Friday October 5th

Thursday I slept in. Az Momma went to the gym came home and before we knew it, it was time to scurry off to do my tilt table test.

I need to preface this day with the following. Friday at 12 I have an EEG. It's a sleep deprived EEG which means for the next 24 hours I can only get 2 hours of sleep. Yee-ha.

So I start off the day with my tilt table test. We are supposed to get a mani pedi and 1:00pm. When we arrive at the hospital, I went to check in on the left waited on the right and then asked the lady when she came out to get me how long this was going to take- she told me 2 hours. And that right there we waved the mani pedi goodbye.

Az momma went to run a few errands and I walked back with Mary. She brought me into this room and first things first had me take off my shirt put on this gown and she taped it- yes taped it should. She hooked me up to TONS of monitors, slipped my fingers into these mini blood pressure cuffs, strapped my arm onto this arm holder thing, covered me with a blanket and then brought in the nurse of an IV.

Here we go again. 5 people and 6 pokes later, they got an IV. Now the fun began. They tilted me up to a 70 degree angle and waited for me to pass out. 40 more minutes to go. No talking, eyes open, ready set go.

It just so happens that today of all days my mind is blank, why and how, I HAVE NO IDEA, but that's NOT OKAY. Anything I try to think about I can't focus on. I have no attention span at this point. The only thing I'm thinking that will keep me sane is counting. At least I have to focus and their is some type of order and tracking with counting. Every minute she takes down my vitals, so I start at 200 and start founding down backwards. Somewhere along the line I've messed up my pace because 7 minutes went by before I got to 0. Perhaps I should consider grade school again. YAY, my 40 minutes is up.. OH WAIT, now they are going to give me some medicine that speeds your heart up and tilt me back up for 10 minutes. Eh, whatever I can handle 10 after 40.

After 10 long minutes of heart palpitations, I was set free. OH- but not before Mary could vent about how boring that test was. Gee, thanks Mary, glad I could keep you entertained. K bye!

I found Az momma in the car and we ran to the store brought it all home and off to the Clinic we went. I had my appointment with Dr. W again to go over all my blood tests. Eileen had helped me write some questions out and educated and refined me on doctor educate. Speaking loud and clear, making eye contact, asking questions when they came into my head.. things of that nature.  I checked in on the left side and waited one the left side. "Kerina Readd" I stood up and we went to the exam room and waited for Dr. W. Az Momma and I were talking and started laughing, Dr. W blasts through the door and smiles bright, HI, I'm Dr. W, who is it that you have with you today. BLAH BLAH, yes you can talk in front of her. We go through the list of questions and over my blood results. So far the results are inconclusive for some things, positive for others, leaving her to make more initial consults with different specialists. At the end of all of that, she needed to do another swob...... I'll leave the rest up to your imagination- OH and she asked if I shoot up meth, yeah-NO!

By 5:30pm we were on our way home. We came home a few hours later had some veggies and  I found myself exhausted on the couch. Tonight just so happens to be the night that I will not be able to sleep. Eileen and I found ourselves at 8pm needing to cash in on those 2 hours of sleep and by 10pm we'd up and in it for the long haul. 2.5 hours pass and we get up. We watched some Fox news, played some cards, took some ridiculous pictures, ate a tomato and apple at 3am, texted momma bear with an hourly update and by 4, I had suckered her into a 10 minute power nap and an hour later she was up walking the dogs, I was showered and ready to do for that lab draw.

Friday October 5th.
Good times at the lab, 3 pokes and she got it, dropped off some urine and went to the gym. I'm sorry I mean "The Village." I got to experience housewives work out 101. Can I just say, I want to be a housewife now, kthanks.

Eileen went to her cross fit class and I ventured over to the treadmill. We started at 8am I had to make it until 9am until we went to go get mani pedi's. I ran just under 4 miles I'm not sure how, Eileen whooped her own ass in cross fit and by then it was time to go relax. I just have to make it until 12pm for the EEG. We went and go our nails did and FINALLY IT WAS TIME TO HAVE MY TESSSST!

Momma Az had fallen asleep in the care because 2 hours later she picked me up from had lines on her face-- mwhwha.  We took a little drive, laughed a lot, then went back to the clinic for more fun. I had my MR scheduled at 3:30. Checked in on the left waited on the right, filled out my pre-MRI sheet, called me up and to the back we went. After changing, 45minutes of trying to get an IV, Az momma went to the car. The tech brought me back - asked if I had any internal devices.. I said yes- she stopped me and told me that I needed to see cardiology the same day I had my MRI and that they couldn't do it. I got dressed they took out my IV and I stormed out!

I got to the car and AZ MOMMA WAS IRATE!! We put in a call to the doctor, called momma bear, made a trip to the liquor store and went home. We ordered in and both passed out on the couch at 7.

What the hell.



All night adventure.

Mani pedi without the pedi pic.

Wednesday October 3rd

Today is a wash. Az momma called the doctors who told her that they would just reschedule my appointments and I should stay home.

Az momma had a big luncheon thing today that she was dreading. Boo. She looked really pretty in her orange J Crew dress though. I slept in until about 7:30, got up, did nothing but blogged, got sick of writing watched some TV, by then, she was home again and brightened my day with her stories from these ladies at her lunch. MWAHAHAHAHAHH!

The rest of the day consisted of fast shopping for Megan (Az mommas daughter). We went to J crew bought her an ADORABLE outfit, quickly ran over to Nordstroms, grabbed some fab Kate Spade attire 2 new pairs of heels and just like that we were done. We jetted over to the UPS store and sent it off to Megan for her interview in the am. I hope she get's the JOB! :)

At that point we were famished, at some food at Houstons (they brought me a washcloth during dinner FYI).  Got home, sat down in front of the TV for about an hour, bonded with Az momma, then off to bed I went.


Today was a wash. Great.