Let's see here. I've now made my move. I am successfully living back in the city and I may just be loving it. I wouldn't say that it was completely a success, that's mostly due to the fact that my helpers all fell though. All but one anyways. I will however say this, aside for leaving behind the dry food, pots, and Tupperware, we got everything and that is left for another day. You see, my roommate and I are now renters of 2 locations, and for being 22, I must say this is a proud moment. Sort of. I would like to say that this is giving me experience for when I own two homes, only, I'm not really rich and am barely swinging it, but for this month it's working. We'll talk in another month and I'll let you know how it goes.
Other than moving. I've had the joy of not having to fill up my gas tank 2 times this week, only spending about on average 15 minutes to drive to work instead of 40, and buying cheaper groceries. So far I'm ahead. I've also gone back to work and started running again. I'm hoping things will start working themselves out.
My latest dilemma has been about something rather broad. I'm trying to figure out what in the heck I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I've managed to stay afloat this long, but really, my life is just beginning. Yesterday I spent some time with my little brother who is 6 years old. While giving him a bath he asked me how much longer has to be in school. Before giving me a chance to answer he said, "4 more years huh? It's going to take for forever." I looked at him and smiled and said in a high pitched mildly squeaky tone, "nah, longer than that, about 11 more years bud." His mouth just dropped and was not only in awh, but somehow crushed. It was in that moment that I had this delayed epiphany that we spend the first 18 years of our life learning how to live the rest of our life. This has me perplexed. Our lives really don't start until we are out of college, that's when it seems we get this chance to change and grow and transform into who we really are, yet when all of that stops, it's like we have had the rug pulled out from underneath us. Sure we know what's expected of us and we seem to just go through the motions and do what needs to be done, but where is the fulfillment in our true destined vocation we've waited and worked so hard to achieve.
I supposed all of this has come to mind because along with this move, there are a number of things that needs their ends to be tied, and by that I mean answers to my questions and peace with my decisions. I'm having a hard time finding the right words and perhaps tomorrow I will have a clear mind on what point it is I'm trying to make, but right now, this movie is winning.
No comments:
Post a Comment